Power of Common Strife

Every great team has its rituals. Some practice until sweat pools at their feet. Some have epic creeds calling on you to shoulder more than your fair share of the task. But the strongest teams share something deeper: common strife.

VMI Rugby Team and Alumni

I learned this lesson not on the baseball diamond where I grew up, but on a rugby pitch.

Baseball had been my life since I was four years old. Seasons blurred together—spring, summer, fall ball, year after year. By the time I reached college, I discovered what every athlete eventually faces: a plateau. My skills had leveled out and the effort needed to lift back off, while also meeting the demands of cadet life at the Virginia Military Institute, proved to be something I no longer desired.

So I left the sport that defined my childhood and a huge hole remained. I drifted from club sport to club sport. Triathlon Team, Power-lifting, and boxing. What I found next changed me.

Rugby was raw, physical, and punishing. It was new to me, exciting, and thrilling. But, the playing of this new sport isn't what hooked me, it was the culture that drew me in. On the rugby pitch, pain was not avoided—it was expected. Struggle was not personal—it was shared. And in that shared strife, something powerful happened. Men leaned on each other in ways I had never experienced before. Our bonds deepening through the season. I felt accountability extending beyond the pitch into academics, leadership, and life. I began to learn lessons on and off the field and I starting following the example of the my teammates in classrooms and at military training.

It wasn’t enough to play hard for 80 minutes. Rugby demanded that you live hard, endure well, and show up for your teammates long after the final whistle.

That is the essence and power of common strife.

This shared adversity is what forges real culture. It transforms teammates into brothers and sisters. It strips away excuses. It creates leaders who can endure more than they thought possible because they do not endure alone.

This is why leaders in every arena should take note. Whether you run a business, lead a family, or command a unit, the most resilient cultures are born in the crucible of shared struggle. When people face hardship together, they build a trust that outlasts the hardship itself.

The truth is simple: adversity will come. The question is whether you face it scattered, or shoulder-to-shoulder.

Rugby taught me that the real victory isn’t just on the scoreboard. It’s in the unshakable bond of a team that has suffered together, endured together, and prevailed together.

Leaders: seek out the common strife. Don’t protect your teams from it—lead them through it. Because on the other side of strife lies the culture every great team is built on.